Dr. Seuss Elected World President: Fulham Beats Juventus 4-1

Ok, the first part isn’t true. As far as I know anyway. I don’t think World President elections are until next month, but I’m not too sure. What I am sure about is that this is the biggest day in Fulham’s history. Facing a 3-1 deficit from the first leg back in Turin, the Londoners really couldn’t afford giving up an away goal at Craven Cottage if they wanted to advance to the Europa League Quarterfinals. Well, they did just that after only two minutes. They needed 3 goals to tie, 4 to win. They got four. Bobby Zamora (who still shouldn’t play for England) scored a few minutes after the first goal. Zoltan Gera scored two goals, one just before the break, and one from a penalty minutes after the restart. Then, our boy, the rowdy Texas rapper, Clint “Deuce” Dempsey pulled off what can only be described as an orgasmic lob. (video above, as if you didn’t already know) The goal sends Fulham through to the Quarters, winning 5-4 on aggregate, marking one of the best results in the club’s history.