Crouching Balotelli, Hidden Rolling Pin

Mario Balotelli. He is, quite simply, the gift that keeps on giving. Giving ridiculous stories to write about. This sounds made up. He didn’t even do anything all that wrong, but it’s still hilarious. He went out for curry and apparently broke team curfew before the Chelsea game, but that didn’t stop him from having an impromptu sword fight with rolling pins. Thank you, Mario. For all you do.