Clint Dempsey Joins Twitter, Drops Deuce+1

Clint Dempsey scored a hat trick against mighty Charlton in the FA Cup this weekend.

In equally unsurprising news, @Clint_Dempsey has quickly becoming my most favoritist person on the Twitter. I, for one, never thought the guy got as much stick for his weird looking eyes as he really does, judging by the whole of American soccer’s cybersphere welcoming him to tweetland by referring to his peepers as ojos de cebollas (onion eyes/rings). But you know Clint’s so damn cool that he just dishes it back the same way he plays. Crafty .

In his young tweeting life, he’s called Hercules Gomez ’super dork’, Heath Pearce ‘Zoolander’, Brek Shea ‘Rembrandt’, Carlos Bocanegra ‘ankles’, Ale Bedoya ‘toucan’, and Brad Guzan ‘polar bear’. He even called Stu Holden ‘baby billy goat jaws’…Whatever the frug that means. Oh and apparently, Jose Torres is his ‘ninja’.

So in about 100 tweets, Dempsey unleashed over half a dozen nicknames on USMNT fans. And frankly, we don’t have enough alt-monikers for our national team stars. So we, the people, need to make sure some of these stick, ya heard? We can start by referring to Landon Donovan as ‘5 head‘ for the rest of his loan stint at Everton.

Speaking of 5-head, there’s a USMNT flavored FA Cup clash on the horizon, if you didn’t know. While Manchester United and Liverpool are devouring each other in there 4th round matchup, American fans will be treated to the first ever 5-head v onion eyes showdown. That’s right. Donovan (and Howard’s!) Everton v Duece’s Fulham. Saturday, January 28th at Goodison Park. Be on your couch. Or you’re a slouch.

(PS- Clint’s so rad he even tweets little deuce hands that look like this: ✌. So cool. I don’t know how to make them on my own yet, so until I do, I’m just going to copy and paste them little hands from Clint’s timeline. And you should too.)