A Plea to the Milan Clubs
On the eve of the Derby della Madonnina, and dead in the middle of the transfer window, I thought it would be most appropriate to address AC Milan and Inter Milan on a very pressing issue. You guys, we really need to talk about Carlos Tevez. Your somewhat understandable interest has been well documented. I can see how his goal scoring record and tireless effort on the pitch, when he can be convinced to come off the bench, are very tempting. His baggage, though, notably an association with anti-Christ Kia Joorabchian that seems to lead to most problems that he causes, is not worth the potential positives that he would bring.
Milan, listen, you guys have more talent going forward than anyone in Europe outside of Barcelona and Real Madrid. How is your thirst for strikers not sated with Ibrahimovic, Robinho, Pato, Boateng, and last but certainly not least, Pippo Inzaghi? What’s more, you were willing to ship Pato off to Paris St Germain? Sure, he’s been a bit lackluster this season after a few injuries, but he’s still only 22 and has averaged 16 goals per season for the last three! And he hooked up with Miss Brazil! You can’t possibly want to replace a 22 year old with a temperamental 27 year old who has caused problems for all three clubs he’s represented in England. And he’s a hideous chud who could never woo a beauty queen.
Inter, listen, I understand the club is in a bit of a transitional phase after that Rafa Benitez debacle. It was always going to be a tough road back after the Special One left for more Galactico-laden pastures. I won’t argue that you could use another proper goalscorer to complement Diego Milito, but don’t make it Carlos Tevez. He’ll just bring disharmony like he has everywhere else. The club has a great base. Players like Lucio, Wesley Sneijder, Maicon, Thiago Motta, Zanetti, the aforementioned Milito, and Pazzini, are all capable of making up the six point difference between them and Udinese and returning to the Champions League spots. You want a striker? Go after Loic Remy of Marseille. He’s younger than Tevez, more versatile in that you can play him as a winger, much cheaper, and will cause fewer headaches.
Alright, collective Milan support and management. It’s all up to Galliani and Moratti now. Let’s hope they use their vast experience and avoid Carlos Tevez like the plague. Both clubs are too good for players like Tevez. He’s like football dope. Yes, he could bring instant pleasure, but the consequences of using him far outweigh the positives.