Everything comes in threes, so we should have guessed that another big name from Northern England was set to retire at the end of the year. Old Golden Balls is hanging up the boots along with Fergie and Carra. (We aren’t counting Scholes – he already retired once so it’s just some Brett Favre shit.)

If you’ve ever been to our blog before you probably know we don’t like Manchester United. In fact, it’s probably the one thing most of us hate more than anything in the world.

Even so, we got to give props to Becks, particularly from a yankee perspective. Upon coming to the MLS he kinda sort of sucked a bit and was kinda sort a little bitch. But, like any real professional, put his head down and ended up playing a major role in leading the LA Galaxy to back-to-back MLS titles.

Although we weren’t too thrilled with the reports of training alone upon coming to the Galaxy and his riff with Landycakes, he managed to do what all America sports fans love: make a comeback.

He bid adieu to the sunny confines of Venice Beach and opted for the romantic shores of the Seine with good vibes being shown from both directions.

Domestic title in four countries. Not bad for a one-footed player that can’t head, tackle or score. Enjoy retirement, you deserve it sir.

Wembley Stadium played host to one very surprising event today, and another that, well, won’t surprise many at all. Wigan Athletic advanced to the FA Cup final with a 2-0 victory over Millwall. Yes, Wigan. FA Cup Final. Same sentence. But the cup magic that filled Wembley’s air Saturday was tainted by match’s end when a handful of the Slytherins amongst the Millwall fans started a fight with police, and each other. Hardly news, when it comes to Millwall. (For those who aren’t familiar with the Millwall hooligans, meet The Bushwackers.)

There were some pretty grim scenes of teary children, bloodied hooligans, and injured bystanders. And one hooligan in particular cemented himself into the annals of hooliganism when cameras caught him stealing a police officer’s hat and scampering away with the most classic of sh*t eating grins. Poor lad, he’s destined for a special kind of internet humiliation. Too bad he deserves it.

And in the interest of not neglecting the soccer, enjoy the match highlights below, especially Shaun Maloney’s peach of a strike.

Interestingly, if  Wigan, who are currently relegation candidates at 17th in the table, manage to defeat either Chelsea or Manchester City in the FA Cup final but do not stave off the drop, they’d become the first relegated FA Cup winners in history. Portsmouth was *this close* in 2010, but lost to Chelsea 1-0 in the final. So go on Latics. Go on and turn the British football world on it’s head. We love a bit of absurdity around here.

Asking a Jew to objectively discuss a fascist is like having a mouse ask the neighborhood cat for help with the cheese in a trap. But let’s be as honest as possible about yesterday’s announcement from Sunderland. Yes, Paolo Di Canio is the new manager of the Black Cats. Yes, he is open about his political leanings, which happen to be of the fascist variety. Most importantly, his most publicized quote, “I’m a fascist, not a racist,” has yet to be proven wrong.

Throughout his playing years in Italy (Lazio, Juve, Napoli, Milan, Cisco Roma), Scotland (Celtic), and England (Sheffield Wed, West Ham and Charlton), Di Canio was a fan’s player. His only incidents were because he was a hot head and a generally intense personality, not because he’s a fascist, or a racist. During these years, he played with countless black players. His fascism didn’t seem to be of issue then. In the interest of the aforementioned honesty, there was a spat with Jonathan Tehoue during his tenure as manager at Swindon. The bottom line is that Di Canio is now Sunderland manager because he was successful with Swindon Town and he was hired for footballing reasons. He is being paid, probably handsomely, for preaching tactics, not politics.

People who identify as fascist are criticized by many because of the ideology’s historical role in horrible death, war, and tragedy. Totally fair. What about the players, managers, owners, or supporters of clubs who lean the opposite direction on the political spectrum? Some forget that socialism as an ideology is responsible for millions upon millions of deaths in the Soviet Union, China, and Cambodia, among others. Why is it that Eric Cantona is revered for having leftist, arguably dangerous views that call for social revolutions, while Di Canio is reviled for having his own personal beliefs?

We’re not going to delve into the changes and evolution of Italian fascism from Mussolini to present day. It’s a topic I’m not well versed in and one that is irrelevant. Di Canio has labeled himself a fascist and he owns it. Until his views or beliefs harm somebody or impede them from living their life as they see fit, he can be whoever the hell he feels works for him. Many have jumped on Di Canio and Sunderland as a whole for appointing someone who doesn’t fit their ideals (I know, it’s hard to believe that individuals who have an outlet feel they can question the motives and morals of a privately owned organization). They seem to be missing the point though. They are fans of a sporting club. Their ideals should be winning, and nothing else. Di Canio’s style was described as “coaching by hand grenade,” and considering the Wearsiders have 7 games to save themselves from relegation, it sounds like exactly what they need.

After a difficult MLS season, Brek Shea is finally making the move abroad, seemingly out of the blue. Luckily (or tragically) he will have to do little to adapt his game from the typical MLS “style” he played under at FC Dallas. Por Que? Well, he’s going to Stoke City, the long-ball, bunker-in, ten-men-behind-the-ball, kings of Europe. The only difference between Stoke and 90% of MLS sides is a more talented group of players at the English club. But then again… the opposition will be better as well. So that’s probably a moot point. Yeah, there will be no real difference. Should be the same old Brek Shea.

However, that’s perfect for Stoke and Shea alike. All jokes aside, the Potters have slowly developed a method and style over the years, crude but effective. Shea’s adaptability should be an asset for Tony Pulis, a man who demands discipline and positional awareness from his players. If there is anything the MLS preps a player with, it’s how to be in position, even if it means sacrificing creative freedom. Obviously, his wing play will be expected to be complimented with the ability to beat players one-on-one and maraud into the box. However, his brief stints as a left and center back in recent years makes him an attractive and fitting player for the Stoke City system.

The next few months will show American fans if Shea’s tenuous end to his FC Dallas career taught him anything. His play suffered after a falling out with manager Schellas Hyndman, a demanding character much like Pulis, and he was relegated to the bench for long spells. Once a star on the rise, Shea has become just another disappointing US National fledgling lost in his own talent. A move was needed. His development had stalled. On one hand, it appears Stoke is too much like the FC Dallas set-up he escaped. On another hand, it could be just similar enough for the lad to make a smooth transition to a higher level.

Tony Pulis expects a certain amount a discipline from his players. Shea would be well advised to reflect on how his FC Dallas career spoiled if he wants this next stage of his career to be a successful one.

The Thirdkit is backing the blonde bohemian to recapture his form. Have your say below.

Here’s an excerpt of a piece I wrote for LFC Boston’s blog, The Red Letter, about the parallels between Fenway Park and Anfield. Hope you enjoy it:

It’s nearly two years since FSG and principal owner John W. Henry took control of Liverpool’s fortunes after a dreadful period of stagnation from the previous owners. You know who they are. I choose not to type out their names.

One of the most contentious areas of stalled development was the duo’s misleading dialogue regarding a new stadium at Stanley Park. A brash promise of having a spade in the ground within sixty days became a marked quotation that Liverpool fans used to highlight the distrust they had with the ownership group.

Fast-forward to the present and a sense of restlessness is once again growing among the Anfield faithful. A lingering question remains: will a new shiny stadium at Stanley Park become a reality or will historic Anfield remain as the club’s home? It’s safe to say that many Liverpool fans would favor the latter. And so does FSG. After John W. Henry’s comments to The Anfield Wrap it appears that a potential plan to refurbish Anfield may be on the horizon. Adding more credence to that sentiment is Liverpool City Council’s desire to promote several projects to revitalize the Anfield area.

You can check out the article in its entirety on The Red Letter by clicking here.

Of all the things said/printed by English tabloids, particularly The Sun, this is what the FA gets mad about? David Bernstein, the chairman of The FA, labeled the front page headline run by The Sun as “disrespectful” and “unacceptable.” However, Thirdkit.com labeled it as “kind of funny” and “not a big deal.” Are we taking up for The Sun? Absolutely not. Immediately after posting this I will be on my way to a confessional at a nearby church just after taking steel-wool to my curled up body in a very very hot shower.

Even so, this just isn’t a big deal. Defaming the memory of dead fans by fabricating stories and spying on reputable Football Agents and their clients are much more egregious crimes. When put into perspective, poking fun at an older gentleman’s speech impediment doesn’t compare. After all, it’s not the first time, and it certainly won’t be the last time, someone calls Mr. Hodgson “Woy”.

The FA has failed to adequately prioritize the battles it fights. If David Bernstein wants to make a big deal about this headline, then surely he must stand up and publicly criticize tabloids when their words become more volatile than a less-than-clever phrase regarding a man’s odd speech.

“What’s Rafa up to?” Don’t lie. Every disgruntled fan that’s wanted to punt their current manager to row omega has probably blurted this question once or twice in the past year. He’s one of the most attractive coaching options on the market (tactically, not physically – unless barrell bellied waiters are something you’re in to).

But as Jen Chang finds out in this fantastic interview for SI.com, Rafa just be waiting for that right gig to open. Meanwhile, he’s watching buckets of matches – from a very well broken in recliner, I presume – and analyzing teams and players until the springs on said recliner pop. He’s also kept busy designing iPad apps. Go figure. But check it out on his unintentionally hilarious website, www.rafabenitez.com.

Anyway, read that piece, as I can’t add anything that Jen doesn’t. But I’ll say that within it lies a couple revelations that may cause Liverpool fans some unexpected flatulence. Get this, Rafa almost signed Dani Alves…as a winger! And Alberto Aquilani? Apparently Rafa’s plan for him was never completed, as he was supposed to combine with Montenegrin wonderkid Stevan Jovetic. But, Rafa says, he just didn’t have the funds…or did he?

First off, sincere apologies for the cobwebs around here. Real-life has gotten the better of us lately. But we hope to end this drought ASAP. And not in a lame-ass Torres’ tap-in kind of way and more of a where-the-hell-did-that-come-from Quincy Amarikwa sorta way. Simply put, we’ll have another go and see where this one lands.

Anyways, this all-time EPL League table made its rounds on the interwebz today and I thought it was well worth a share. Aside from the perennial powerhouse that sits atop the throne (ahem), this really puts in perspective the enduring success of Everton and Aston Villa. Who’da thunk?

I sure as hell didn’t know until today, but Villa, who are one of England’s oldest clubs (f. 1874), has spent all but 7 of it’s seasons in the top flight! Everton’s record streak of 58 seasons in the top division is more common knowledge, but good lord, who’d have thought they’d be in position to qualify for the Eternal Champions League?

However, despite The Blues’ elderly status in the Prem (if I may), they’re still one home win shy of those Merseyside rivals. That decision to leave Anfield in 1892? Yea, nice one.

What team on this list has not played in the top tier the longest, you ponder? No? Just me? Well, it’s Preston North End. The Whites last stint in the top flight was in 1960. And for Huddersfield Town, it’s now been 40 years since their last match in the top division. Both are now in League One, but look out for Huddersfield. They’re in play-off position. Could they make a return to the Prem in 2014? You heard it here first. But I doubt we’ll be around to remind you.

Seriously, how the hell did Glen Johnson get in that position? It’s not photoshoped or anything. It’s a real picture in real time and space. I can’t look at it too long, it hurts my brain… or maybe that’s just my massive hangover. And yes, this is my excuse to post about Liverpool winning the League Cup.

[via NESN]

The England national team, as you may know, are currently without a coach or a captain. The question du jour (and probably the only thing that your Twitter timeline will consist of for the next week or so) is ‘Who’s going to be the next manager of England?’ Will it be Woy Hodgson? Or the fat waiter himself, Rafa Benitez? How about Real Madrid wantaway Jose Mourinho? While the ravenous British media speculates endlessly about the man who’s eyes they next get to peck out of their skull, I think this picture tells the story.

Sorry Spurs fans, it’s ‘Arry the Acquitted and you know it.