Watch this and I bet Fabrice Muamba does a better job at holding back his tears than you can.

Absolutely amazing to see the man who was ‘dead for 78 minutes‘ just six and a half weeks ago, walk on to the pitch to roaring applause from Bolton and Spurs fans. Here’s Fab’s interview with Sky Sports before he took the pitch.

On a side note, good to see Stu Holden looking snazzy in the studio. I wonder how much he’s sweating about the very high possibility of playing football in the Championship next year. For a guy who’s had a full year off of football, perhaps a season at a lower level could be good for him? Maybe I’m just an optimistic sucker.

And is it just me, or is slick Stuey really ramping up the Scottish accent for British TV?

En fuego, siempre.

That makes it 15 goals in the league, 21 total. What a season for Duece. We might be getting used to him scoring but his free kick goal today looks mighty unfamiliar, didn’t it? Because that was his first Fulham!

Here’s Clint and his onion rings in a postgame interview.

First off, sincere apologies for the cobwebs around here. Real-life has gotten the better of us lately. But we hope to end this drought ASAP. And not in a lame-ass Torres’ tap-in kind of way and more of a where-the-hell-did-that-come-from Quincy Amarikwa sorta way. Simply put, we’ll have another go and see where this one lands.

Anyways, this all-time EPL League table made its rounds on the interwebz today and I thought it was well worth a share. Aside from the perennial powerhouse that sits atop the throne (ahem), this really puts in perspective the enduring success of Everton and Aston Villa. Who’da thunk?

I sure as hell didn’t know until today, but Villa, who are one of England’s oldest clubs (f. 1874), has spent all but 7 of it’s seasons in the top flight! Everton’s record streak of 58 seasons in the top division is more common knowledge, but good lord, who’d have thought they’d be in position to qualify for the Eternal Champions League?

However, despite The Blues’ elderly status in the Prem (if I may), they’re still one home win shy of those Merseyside rivals. That decision to leave Anfield in 1892? Yea, nice one.

What team on this list has not played in the top tier the longest, you ponder? No? Just me? Well, it’s Preston North End. The Whites last stint in the top flight was in 1960. And for Huddersfield Town, it’s now been 40 years since their last match in the top division. Both are now in League One, but look out for Huddersfield. They’re in play-off position. Could they make a return to the Prem in 2014? You heard it here first. But I doubt we’ll be around to remind you.

Jay and Silent Bob on Manchester

Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes, aka Jay and Silent Bob, recently took their show on the road to the UK and happened to stop in Manchester. Of course the topic of the city’s two below average football teams came up.

I’m not sure which Mancs are louder. It almost seems like the Citeh fans enjoy hating United more than they enjoy cheering on their own Blues. Whatever, let’s cheer against both of them. And yes, Jay, it’s JUST like Newark.

Cue the Mohawk. Cue the powerful finish. Cue the back flip. My favorite showman is back.

It’s Djibril Cisse time in the EPL again. And I’m most definitely smitten about it.

No real news here, just a bad ass mofo getting his kicks and more exposure to yours truly due to his move back into the Prem. After a lackluster six months at Lazio, the pacey Frenchmen is in foggy London town with QPR. Proving how perfectly his physical, fast, and powerful style fits into the English game, he netted after just 12 minutes. It’s his third debut goal for an English club. That’s pretty boss.

OK, I will try and inject some sort of analysis/news into this post. Here it is: QPR wins the Thirdkit.com Blue Ribbon for January Transfer Excellence. The most active top-flight club in the window, they brought in six players. In addition to Cisse, they snagged Bobby Zamora from Fulham to put some teeth into the Ranger’s attack. Across the back, they bought Manchester City’s Nedum Onuoha. Although last night’s second-half wasn’t superb by any means for the 24 year-old center-back, he should be a solid pick up. Additionally, some solid depth was added in the form of three shrewd loans for players who should make a big impact at Loftus Road. Federico Macheda at forward, Samba Diakite at Center Midfield, and Taye Taiwo at Leftback, a loan move via AC Milan that Thirdkit.com writers from Louisiana are already calling “dope” and “gnarly”.

Let’s do some math. They sit on 21 points. They have 15 games left to play…

15 x 3 = 45 points

45 points + 21 points = 66 points

Europa League? I think so! Call your travel agents QPR fans!

It’s finally here. Our massive, over-the-top, big budget finale to the January Transfer Window Blockbuster series. We’ve overpaid for every Hollywood star on the planet to help up realize this masterpiece and it’s all funded by Roman Abramovich. Hell, even porn star Kim Kardashian is gonna be there.

Enjoy our 3D, motion capture of a center back, in the most cliche way possible; a drawn out transfer saga from Earth to Pandora, er, Bolton to London. Complete with blue cats.

Imagine being trapped in a place where your overlord is the Indian Colonel Sanders, your boss looks like Uncle Fester, and every decent player around you is on the verge of being sold. It’s a place from which even Snake couldn’t escape.

Well, Chris Samba is going to try his damnedest.

Continuing our transfer window blockbuster segment from yesterday… Today, we look at the one saga that seems to have become an annoying growth on the world of football.

Carlos Tevez is stuck in limbo. He was dreaming to get out of Manchester City, which in turn made Corinthians dream that they could afford to get him back. Meanwhile, Tevez was dreaming within his dream that he could play for his boyhood club Boca Juniors. Sheikh Mansour told them all to keep dreaming when they wanted a loan deal for the troubled striker. Now, the apex of the drama! Adriano Galliani and AC Milan will attempt to sneak into Tevez’s dream to beat up Mansour and take Carlitos off the driving range and to the San Siro! Are you confused? So are we! Who knows where Kia Joorabchian will show up?!

Clint Dempsey is so hot right now, but lest we forget, he’ll never be as hot as his missus, sweet Bethany.

Most of us know summer as the time for massive Hollywood movies. It’s also the time for out favorite European footballing outfits to go out and do some business in the transfer market. Others wait until their gutted, inexperienced squad is mauled 8-2 to go out and make panic buys. No matter, now is not that time. It’s the summer transfer block’s red headed step brother, the January transfer window. We’ve decided to celebrate all of the various transfers, loans, and various other sagas through our favorite – and most appropriate – movie posters.

Today, arguably the best sequel to expect this summer, except maybe that little Batman movie… Anyway, our favorite mercenaries are back! They’re at it again in North London, Liverpool, Birmingham, and some nondescript tropical getaway run by a warlord, to use their skills for anyone that pays MLS enough money for their services!