If there’s any time for Dempsey to go chase that Champions League dream, it’s now or, more likely, this summer. As romantic as staying with Fulham is, Dempsey can only stretch his britches at Craven Cottage so long. It’s about time he flew the coup and I can hear Harry Redknapp scratching his gobble with temptation right now.
Excuse my bad manners if I start a rumor, but if Modric is out, is Dempsey a replacement?
Clint Dempsey scored a hat trick against mighty Charlton in the FA Cup this weekend.
In equally unsurprising news, @Clint_Dempsey has quickly becoming my most favoritist person on the Twitter. I, for one, never thought the guy got as much stick for his weird looking eyes as he really does, judging by the whole of American soccer’s cybersphere welcoming him to tweetland by referring to his peepers as ojos de cebollas (onion eyes/rings). But you know Clint’s so damn cool that he just dishes it back the same way he plays. Crafty .
In his young tweeting life, he’s called Hercules Gomez ’super dork’, Heath Pearce ‘Zoolander’, Brek Shea ‘Rembrandt’, Carlos Bocanegra ‘ankles’, Ale Bedoya ‘toucan’, and Brad Guzan ‘polar bear’. He even called Stu Holden ‘baby billy goat jaws’…Whatever the frug that means. Oh and apparently, Jose Torres is his ‘ninja’.
So in about 100 tweets, Dempsey unleashed over half a dozen nicknames on USMNT fans. And frankly, we don’t have enough alt-monikers for our national team stars. So we, the people, need to make sure some of these stick, ya heard? We can start by referring to Landon Donovan as ‘5 head‘ for the rest of his loan stint at Everton.
Speaking of 5-head, there’s a USMNT flavored FA Cup clash on the horizon, if you didn’t know. While Manchester United and Liverpool are devouring each other in there 4th round matchup, American fans will be treated to the first ever 5-head v onion eyes showdown. That’s right. Donovan (and Howard’s!) Everton v Duece’s Fulham. Saturday, January 28th at Goodison Park. Be on your couch. Or you’re a slouch.
(PS- Clint’s so rad he even tweets little deuce hands that look like this: ✌. So cool. I don’t know how to make them on my own yet, so until I do, I’m just going to copy and paste them little hands from Clint’s timeline. And you should too.)
Some celebration Timmy throws after beccoming just the 4th goalie to score a goal from open play in the EPL, huh? Well, Timmy, in all his modesty, explained after the game his sympathy for Bolton goalie Adam Bogdan caused him to refrain from doing cartwheels.
“I spoke to him just then and I let him know that I was feeling for him…It’s not a nice place to be. I’ve been there before, a long, long time ago and that was why I didn’t celebrate.”
Class act, that Timmy.
And indeed, Wigan’s Floyd Croll did score on Howard in a 2005 reserves match. Croll, on the other hand, didn’t hesitate to go bonkers. Jerk. What’s more, Croll tweeted right after Howard’s goal!:
@FloydCroll: I have scored to haven’t I Mr Howard#iownyoustill
Here’s video of that embarrassing moment for Howard:
And now we know exactly what it is that’s in the water Demba Ba’s been drinking. Syrup. Strawberry syrup.
Not only do we learn from this clip that Ba possibly cares more about syrup than he does his family, but he speaks like one of those people that can make you laugh with everything he says. Seems like a perpetually happy guy. Especially on the pitch. Demba Ba’s secrets to scoring: smiles and syrup. Both of which Andy Carroll could use a lot more of.
Sorry for the lull. Holiday content was never going to be our thing. But during our vegetating, we discovered Santa on Boxing Day. What else would you do the day after being dragged around the world by a herd of reindeer for a night? Sh*t, I’d go see Manchester City play too. Too bad Woy wuined his Chwistmas.
Mario Balotelli. He is, quite simply, the gift that keeps on giving. Giving ridiculous stories to write about. This sounds made up. He didn’t even do anything all that wrong, but it’s still hilarious. He went out for curry and apparently broke team curfew before the Chelsea game, but that didn’t stop him from having an impromptu sword fight with rolling pins. Thank you, Mario. For all you do.
In honor of Steve Bruce winning the Premier League sack race, I decided that this weekend I would do several things.
Firstly, I will not write anything about the games until most of them have been played.
Saturday football is very important in understanding the psyche of the average fan, there is still something magical about 3 pm (UK) kick-offs on a Saturday afternoon and is easily the preferred time for most true fans – except the armchair ones, who feel that football should be played whenever is convenient for them to either a) get out of bed or b) at a time that doesn’t conflict with their lunchtime drinking schedule.
More on my false promises and the EPL class divide After The Jump…
It took longer than ever for a Premier League boss to get the boot this season, which is a good thing according to the League Manager’s Association. Although Blackburn Rovers supporters won’t agree with that sentiment, it’s refreshing to see in an era of the revolving door.
More on Bruce and managers on the hot seat after the jump…
