Feldman: “Oh, that’s not good television.”

Causey: “That makes for good TV right there.”

I agree with Causers, even if his commentary is blander than unsalted white rice.

Watch highlights of the Revs impressive 2-1 win over Colorado in front of a capacity crowd of 6,000 HERE!

A couple notes on these Revs:

They’ve gotten better. No doubts about it. And as Jay Heaps starts to figure out this coaching thing, they’ll only get better. It helps to have some fun players to watch too, i.e. Nguyen, Sene, Soares, and Rowe, because he reminds me of Shaggy Doo.

But WTF is up with Benny Feilhaber? Dude returns to MLS to get some run and crack back into the national team, and he can’t make it work in New England. I don’t know if it’s apathy or something, but everyone knows he can tear up this league, so where’s the magic Benny? Sorry Boston isn’t comfy SoCal, but quit your pouting and start becoming Boston’s soccer equivalent to Rajon Rondo, will ya? Sorry if that was harsh. You’re really too handsome to yell at.

Watch this and you’d think all things were hunkey dory this year in New England. Regardless, it’s a fitting way to put 2011 to rest for the Revs. I’ll save you the bitter obit to the season and the sadistic roadmap to the future and leave it to the much more level-headed Kyle McCarthy.

What was your favorite goal? Personally, I’m one for celebrations. And nothing beats AJ Soares’ at :45. Not even Feilhaber’s TD catch.

Underrated goal of the year? – Monsef Zerka’s sliding header against Philadelphia at 1:13. Not at all that spectacular, but it was a classy finish and more of what we need out of the Revs. I’m tipping 2012 to be a big year for Dirka Zerka™.

At last night’s MLS Cup at the Home Depot Center, I had the fortune of experiencing the most random of run-ins. Huddled under a tent outside the stadium in a hopeless attempt to stay dry, my friends (two Brits and my girlfriend) and I tried to guzzle as many beers as we could in the short time before kickoff. One problem. No cotdamn bottle opener.

As one of my mates failed in smashing the cap off on a concrete ledge, along came our savior. “You need a hand?” he said, “I’ll be right back with an opener.” Oblivious to who this hooded Samaritan was, we all thought, “Damn, what a nice guy.” When he returned, instantly, I recognized him. It was Matt f*cking Reis.

More on my convo with Reis after the jump…

The New England Revolution haven’t had a coaching vacancy since promoting Steve Nicol to head coach in 2002 but the choice of whom to replace the longest tenured coach in history is at the very least one of the most intriguing decisions the team could’ve made and could certainly pay off.

Continuing with a new trend in hiring ex-MLS players to coach their former teams—think Jason Kreis at Real Salt Lake and Ben Olsen at D.C. United—the Revolution ownership has chosen retired defender Jay Heaps to be the organization’s new head coach heading into the 2012 season.

Some fans may worry that Heaps doesn’t have any previous coaching experience. What he lacks in soccer coaching experience he makes up for in other areas.

More after the jump…

We’ve dismissed the BAD, now here’s a few better replacements for Steve Nicol in New England.

Steve Ralston

The Revs legend has already jumped out as the fan’s pick to be Nicol’s replacement. With two years as an assistant under Dominic Kinnear in Houston, many think he’s ready to man his own ship. But ready to save a sinking one? Let’s be honest, the Revs coaching position is the worst job in MLS with it’s stingy ownership and crap stadium situation. But who better to win over fans and players than one of their own? Think Ben Olsen at DC United. Kenny Dalglish at Liverpool. For many, Ralston is top choice.

The rest after the jump…

Stevie Nicol is out in New England. What brave coach will take up his place as the ruler of the Revolution? Here are some BAD ideas.

Jay Heaps

The early names that have floated about Twitter have been ex-players, Jay Heaps one of them. A loyal and hardworking servant to New England for much of the last decade, Heaps certainly bleeds Revolution blue. But has he ever shown a gift for the tactical or more cerebral side of the game?  We think not. Then again, perhaps the same could have been said about another retired left back who went on to success… Steve Nicol. Steve Nicol is the comparison I’m trying to make. Seriously though, Heaps’ success would hinge on whether or not he could turn his astounding natural ability for yelling into an effective motivational technique. There are few Gillette Stadium ball girls who have not at least once found themselves on the wrong side of a “Gimme the fucking ball!!!” Heaps shout. Just sayin’.

Four more after the jump...

Goodbye, Steve Nicol. Thanks for the memories.

Thanks for taking a middling MLS original and shaping it into a championship team. Thanks for 4 years of MLS Cup drama, even if it didn’t end up going our way.

Thanks for the ’07 Open Cup run. And even if the tournament was a manufactured and manicured marketing bust, thanks for the SuperLiga drama. Victories over sore-loser Mexican teams were always oh-so-sweet.

Thanks for the early days when we played with three center backs. Thanks for the glory days racking up points down the Shalrie-Ralston-Twellman highway.

Thanks for taking a chance on youngsters like Kenny Mansally, Sainey Nyassi, and Diego Fagundez. Thanks for every in-game interview with Brad Feldman you ever did.

But for as many good memories you leave us with, there are still unanswered questions. Your tenure has not ended well, and the team is in a very rough spot.

Was it really that hard to find foreign players that could contribute and fit within your measley budget?

Did Khano Smith deserve all those chances? Did Wells Thompson’s constant proselytizing help send him off to Colorado? Where have you hidden Kheli Dube?

Why did you hold on to Shalrie when Celtic came calling? Were Jeff Larentowicz’s salary demands really too high?

Will you ask Ralston to come back before you go?

In all seriousness, thanks for the years and the tears, Stevie.

A.J. Soares. One of the few bright spots in a dark season for New England. The rookie defender out of Cal has started 27 games this season, scored one sweet header with a killer celebration and, yea, I really like him (He also contributes to Boston.com AND is the host of the Soares Report). For a 22 year old rook, his composure and cool demeanor is impressive. Must have something to do with his San Diego roots, brah. He’s not afraid to sport the 75-25 mustache-beard thing, and where his mustache doesn’t compare to Ryan Cochrane’s, his skills do. In fact, he’s a lot better than Ryan Cochrane, who continuously makes me ponder how he helped the Dynamo win the Cup in 2007. His skills don’t extend further than his upper lip.

Soares, on the other hand, may live in a tiny apartment (a testament to his thriftiness as he’s guaranteed $82,000 this season) somewhere in what looks like Mission Hill? Brookline? I don’t know, but I’m of the opinion he’s headed for big things, and hopefully bigger apartments. Big MLS things? For sure. U.S. National Team things? He’ll certainly get a shot. European things? Let’s not get crazy. Right now, dude’s just an all-around likeable guy who likes to get a pump on in his kitchen. Nothing wrong with that. The Revs may stink worse than used dental floss right now, but I’m sure as hell glad to have a guy like Soares in the squad.

As an MLS fan, I say, “Wow, what a great game!” As a Revs fan, I say, “WTF!?! Are you f@#%ing kidding me! How do you blow a 4-1 lead?! You haven’t scored 4 goals in an MLS game since April 2010 when Zach Schilawski scored a hat trick in 11 minutes vs Toronto…and you can’t protect that lead!?!?!” Okay, maybe I didn’t belt out the line about Schilawski until after I looked it up on Wikipedia, but still it’s a fun fact I thought I’d share. Who cares?  Shutup. I’m over it. The Revs suck. But this Morrocan Monsef Zerka guy kind of excites me. (And so did A.J. Soares goal celebration at 1:09) Maybe if New England can keep Shalrie Joseph, sign a defender who isn’t old and French, and steal back Jeff Larentowicz THEN they could make a run next year. Wishful thinking? You betchya.

Fandom aside, I hope some of you MLS fans out there invited over a crowd of your non-soccer buddies last night to watch the Philadelphia-Revs match and eat some Tostitos ®, for whatever reason. If any on-the-fencers who watched this game aren’t fans of the league now, then MLS ought to start dressing cheerleaders like this.

So it’s no secret that we aren’t really known for our hard news around here. But this past week was quite a roller coaster for soccer fans in New England so – fed up with the nausea and unable withstand another corkscrew – we decided to get us some answers. A few hacked phones and sketchy bribes later and we were on the phone with only man who could answer all (or half ) of our questions on behalf of the frustrated Revolution fan: Shalrie Joseph. The Revolution captain caused ripples through the soccersphere this week after tweeting about his uncertain future in New England. On Friday, Shalrie talked with us about an array of subjects including his future with the Revs, his thoughts on the season so far, his experience at the All-Star Game, and his biggest regrets, as well as a lot of senseless stuff (like Shalrie Jr’s?). Anyway, enjoy the interview, as I think it addresses a lot of issues Revs fans have been waiting a long time to hear a clear opinion on.